As I make the rounds conducting hospitality industry training, I sense that more and more hoteliers are truly understanding the difference between “guest service excellence” and “hospitality.” My regular readers may recall that this is a topic previously addressed here in my monthly column. In short, “guest service excellence” is more demonstrative, requiring the use of hospitality communications essentials like those espoused by hotel ratings services such as Forbes and AAA. “Hospitality,” on the other hand, is more of a philosophy for our work-life culture, or as true hospitality superstars know, it’s really a philosophy for living daily.

As a trainer, I’m often asked by clients whether it is truly possible to “train” people to adopt a spirit of hospitality, or whether it is a personal characteristic that must be recruited and hired. This is most often asked as a leading question, such as “Don’t you think you have to hire people with that trait?” making it clear that they think this trait cannot be trained.

Although it is wonderful to think it’s possible to specifically attract and hire applicants with high levels of emotional intelligence and empathy, I think that is a bit of a dreamworld, especially in today’s labor markets. And, despite the many pre-employment assessments out there these days that claim to measure such traits, which no doubt can provide some valuable insights, no test is perfect.

So, while it is ideal to somehow luck into finding those with high EQs and empathy, I definitely do think it is possible to nurture these traits in each and every one of our hospitality industry staffers. So, how do we do it?

Start by deanonymizing your guests. When I first heard this word, I immediately wrote it down to use in a future article. It is a word most often used by those in the data analytics and digital marketing fields, in reference to figuring out profiles of typical and/or actual website visitors.

In the hospitality leadership and training business, deanonymizing guests is when we train our team to imagine the many guest interactions they have daily, but from the other side of the front desk, bar, guest room door, phone line, and/or email & chat exchange.

Those who work in positions that have heavy guest contact often become desensitized to the uniquely individualistic human experiences guests are living out daily. After a while, those humans become just another “front” to a bellperson, “cover” to a server, “caller 19” to a phone rep, or “the next guest in line” at the front desk. Just another guest dirtying up a room, or someone who has to call maintenance because they can’t figure out how to work a smart TV.

What’s more, many of those who work in hotels have never experienced most of the travel-related, real-life situations playing out in the lobby, dining room, guest rooms, and corridors. Some of your staff’s only travel experiences may have been on trips planned by their parents for vacations, or college spring breaks, or maybe to attend a happy occasion such as a wedding. Many have yet to experience the lonely life of isolation and stress of today’s business travelers, or what it’s like to be on a business trip when you have a sick kid, or to be in town for a funeral or hospital stay. Or to technically be on “vacation,” but to really be going away for a “rekindle the marriage” trip suggested by a marriage counselor.

So what do we as leaders do about it? Here are a few tips.

• Encourage your staff to truly engage guests in conversations during which they will be able to discover “the story” behind the guest.
• Rather than saying, “Checking in? Welcome.” Or “How was your trip in, good?” encourage them to hold eye contact for 3 seconds while they sincerely ask, “May I ask what brings you to our hotel?” or if it looks like a happy person or pair, “So, are we celebrating anything special?”
• When happy occasions are mentioned, encourage staff to respond with sincerity and to maybe even offer a suggestion or “local insider’s tips.”
• When solemn occasions surface, train them to pause and say NOTHING for about 3-4 seconds to truly share the moment of reflection and then say something such as “I am so sorry for your loss…” or “Let us know if there is ANYTHING we can do for you during this challenging time.”
• As a leader, think of the primary reasons guests frequent your hotel.

Are you near a hospital? Military base? A University? A corporate complex? If so, speak with your staff about how they would feel if they were saying goodbye to a partner or relative who was headed out for deployment, or dropping an 18-year-old off at school, or taking a friend in for surgery.

Are you a resort destination? Encourage your team to think about the many reasons people take special vacations and imagine what it would be like to: take your baby to the beach for the first time, or to finally have a WHOLE WEEK together for parents who work way too many hours, or perhaps a “girls trip” reunion, or maybe to be taking your first couples trip without your kids!

While it may be theoretically possible to only hire emotionally intelligent, empathetic staff, a more practical solution is to encourage staff to understand that every day they are encountering real humans who, just like themselves, are emotional creatures living in this physical world. By getting them thinking about these human experiences, you can deanonymize guests and foster authentic, personalized, genuine experiences which will truly create guest loyalty.

Doug Kennedy
Kennedy Training Network (KTN)