I recently wrote about the Reality Rule in my Forbes column. Apparently, I hit on a topic that resonated with the Forbes readers, which prompted me to write a version for our subscribers to The Shepard Letter.

The Golden Rule, which most of us learned at a very young age, is to “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” This is a great business principle when it comes to your customers. Slightly modified, it is “Treat your customers the way you want to be treated.”

My friend Dr. Tony Alessandra adapted the Golden Rule and came up with the Platinum Rule, which is to “Do unto others as they’d like done unto them.” Alessandra’s point is that not everyone wants to be treated the way you do. In business, you must adapt to treating customers according to their needs and expectations, not yours. I’m a believer and proponent of this concept. That said, this article is going to focus on the Golden Rule, but for a different reason.

Give Hospitality

I was reading a book, Give Hospitality by Taylor Scott, a business allegory about a woman who leaves a job with a toxic culture and finds work with a company that is the exact opposite of what she’d been experiencing. In her second week of training, she sees a sign on the wall:

Nothing in the Golden Rule says that others will treat us as we have treated them. It only says we must treat others the way we would want to be treated. Rosa Parks, American civil rights activist

This is a powerful quote, especially when you understand the background. The expectation you have of others shouldn’t always be based on how you treat them, and this is especially applicable in the customer experience.

The point is that you will encounter difficult, unreasonable, and downright rude customers. But their behavior should not dictate yours. You have a choice in how you respond.

I’ve seen people on the front line get frustrated when they “bend over backward” for a customer, only to have them continue to be demanding and ungrateful. Expecting them to treat you the same way, with kindness, concern, and empathy, is the wrong expectation. You’re not treating customers well because you expect something in return. You’re doing it because it’s the right thing to do. This is a mindset you must adopt. Otherwise, you risk becoming angry and bitter toward your customers and even your job.

The Reality Rule

That’s why I’ve come up with a new rule: The Reality Rule, which is to treat customers well, even if they don’t treat you well.

Remember, some customers are having a bad day. Others are just difficult people. Regardless, take a lesson from Give Hospitality and Rosa Parks. Don’t keep score. Focus on what you can control: your attitude, your effort, and your commitment to creating an amazing customer experience that gets customers to say, “I’ll be back!”

Shep Hyken
Shepard Presentations, LLC.

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